How’s the job, future me?  

No school, no exams, no teachers I’m struggling to hear,

Whether it be in a lab, a lectern, or our own little bakery:

Simply happy and free, on 60K a year.

Think of what we’d do with that,

All the bonny things we’ll buy.

That wardrobe better be full to the brim:

Vintage shoes, classy bags, and no space for future him!

How was our wedding day then?

You know we want to get married, even if we are ashamed to admit it,

You mawkish romantic you!

I hate that marriage is in our dream life at all.

I can’t tell whether we chose it, or we have no choice.

Being a woman is a bit weird, isn’t it?

With all those extra biology lessons that you should have had by now,

I should hope you understand it a little more than I do.

Focus on your work, work on you home, but still focus on you.

A little life down a little road with a little cat and a massive home.

A scenic life from a storybook, written by 10-year-old us.

I think I spend a bit too much time dreaming.

Remember all that wishful thinking we used to do…

6 hours away from the life we usually know,

And all of a sudden, we’re in love with the new.

I can’t wait to see this house of ours.

There better be plants floor to ceiling.

Always vase full of blossoms for those grey days we despise:

Distract us with herbs and flowers.

Wreathes and flora to cover our eyes.

That sappy smell of freedom we long for (but dread).

Is it still sugar-coated like the strawberries from Sundays gone?

From delicately sweet dependence,

To chocolate covered manumission.

I predict it’s becoming sickly isn’t it, all this thinking for yourself.

Yet I bet you’d dread going back to the time where our life was controlled by someone else.

Is it boring yet growing up?

Has the monotonous day-to-day become dull?

All those stultifying strokes of this unsurprising life that I’m creating for us;

A prolix of a paint brush on a predetermined canvas.

But our trepidatious temperament is well suited to this life, isn’t it?

Anyway me!

Stop rambling (good luck) , stop wishing your life away.

Stop thinking. Just for a second if you can,

Slow down and breathe in the fresh air.

I’m making our life the way that it is, so there’s beauty everywhere.

-Teri Dawkins


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