I am lost within and lost without
This identity of mine
That I seek beyond me
And seek foolishly
Years of learning to love
Books and films and music
And language with no borders
Only to realise my heart is some hoarder’s
Who hoards all she loves
Into a mind of a girl
Detached by fate from her brown skin
No – it’s not some deep sin
But a reality
For the girl who doesn’t know
What to call “mine”
When her country and skin couldn’t define
Where she belonged
And as to redefine herself was easier
She gave in
And lost the chance to reach within
And now I look back
Deep pity on the girl
That couldn’t hold her head with pride
And had no soul in which she could confide
The battle she fought
And now she’s a part of me
Who rages inside
And pleads at the iron gates of my snide
For I know too well that:
There was a girl once
Who ran out of time
Now she’s lost within and lost without
Her identity of doubt
-Gouri Prasad
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